You clap when a song  finishes on the radio

You ever wake up from a sound sleep clapping

Strangers walk up to you in Wal-mart and compliment
you on your singing

People you don’t know ask, "Aren’t you the karaoke dude?"

You get mad when you are skipped in the rotation

Songs on the radio don’t sound right because Ernest
or Roger aren’t singing them

You hear a song on the radio and think, that’s number 7-12

You don’t wear "the hat" and nobody knows you

Somebody says, "why don’t we leave early?" and the
whole crowd gasps(and early is 12:30 am)

You refer to "my list" ten months after you’ve sold out

You find yourself engrossed in the philosophical
ramifications of  "AMERICAN PIE"

You go to a concert and wonder when they’re gonna
call you up to sing

You go to a concert and all the time you’re thinking "I could do that"

You write lists like this on the back of karaoke slips

Last call comes and you say "But I’m not through singing yet!"

You’ve ever been taken home passed out in the
back of a 69 Cadillac hearse

You’ve ever ripped the door off a bar

You have laryngitis and you still try to sing

Blue drinks turn you into the INCREDIBLE HULK

You know you’ve got to get up at 6:30 am and you
still close the bar down

There’s 12 inches of snow on the ground and ice on
the roads and where are you? THE KARAOKE BAR!

You think "life without the role" are really the words

Someone asks you if you have a slip, and they’re
not talking about underwear!

Someone is writing "WHAT IF" lists during karaoke

You remember the number of over two songs by memory

You know everybody’s first name-and you don’t
know what their last names are

You know the location of every motel within five miles of the bar.

You don’t remember the names of any waitresses before Sharon Peters.

You know the location of every karaoke bar within 50miles of your house.

When you’re not at the karaoke bar by 10:30pm people
start calling your house to find out what’s wrong.

You would never consider dating someone with a bad voice.

Anything brighter than neon lights hurts your eyes.

Someone suggests going dancing instead and you’re appalled.

Your stock reply is "you mean there’s a bowling alley here."

That commercial on TV that makes fun of karaoke really makes you mad.

You see karaoke on TV and you think "That’s not the way it’s done!"

You actually know that karaoke means "empty orchestra."

It feels weird to go to a new karaoke bar and not sit at the "regulars" table

You get upset when someone else is sitting in your place

You throw up on somebody’s car---and they understand

You get mad when someone sings "your song"

The songs, "LOVE SHACK", "FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES",
and "AMERICAN PIE" really annoy you (unless of course
YOU want to sing them)

Someone refers to "the longest song in the book" and
you know what they’re talking about

The word "rotation" no longer conjures up thoughts of tires or sex

You’ve ever browsed the "net" under the heading "KARAOKE"

You’ve ever called a wrecker to take you and your car
to the KARAOKE bar (hey it was contest night O.K.!)

You think it’s a compliment when someone dedicates
"THE BITCH IS BACK" to you

A new person who sings well is automatically your friend

Your new best friend is somebody who does the same
type songs as you

You can’t name five presidents,---BUT you know all the
members of KISS and the EAGLES

The whole bar yells "OH CRAP" when you’re called to sing

You know the entire intro to "BABY’S GOT BACK"

You start believing your middle name is "lucy" or "louise"

You hear "what’s this fat f---er going to sing?" And
you’re determined to sing them under the table

Anyone has ever suggested therapy

You’ve ever received an emergency call at the bar

You think you sound better than the origional

You can still sit still after listening to "LOVE SHACK" 5,000 times

Someone throws up because you sang too much ELTON JOHN

You think you can never sing too much ELTON JOHN

Someone suggests an after hours party and you ask "do
you have a karaoke machine?"

You can’t remember the words to a song you’ve
heard all your life without "the screen"

You and three other people have sung "FRIENDS IN
LOW PLACES" after the karaoke has closed down

The first thing you think when you hear a new song
on the radio is "when is this coming out on karaoke?"

You call the karaoke store and hound them about a disk

You buy a karaoke disk for one song---burning 14 other songs

You try to  learn 14 songs you don’t really like

You consider beer a lubricant for your vocal chords

You consider alcohol to be "Liquid Courage" 

It takes you 15 minutes to hug everybody goodbye

Your best friend has to hold you up to sing your last song,
and you never miss a note (hey it was TWIST OFF night O.K.!)

You can’t sing until you’re nice and toasty

The high point of your week is when your favorite KJ gets a new disk

You cant stand up or walk but you never miss a note

You feel cheated if they don’t get karaoke started at 9:00 sharp "bar time"

The term kamikaze has nothing to do with japan or planes

Your house guests get to your house 1-1/2 hours before you do

You’re a woman but you’re still willing to sing the guys part

You’re a guy but your still willing to sing
Barbara’s part in "NO MORE TEARS"

You may be a karaoke junkie if you are planning to go to a
new city and the  first thing you do is get on the net
and find out where they have karaoke!